KisHy -)i(-

Call these nonsense. Call these useless. Call whatever you wanna call these crap. But to her, these things mean a lot. Here’s the rundown (in no particular order):

1. *HUGS* -)i(-

2. Accounting.. the art of balancing things!

3. Pink wallet (hehe..)

4. 8^th of July..

5. 20.. ??!! 

6. *0918485.. (guess where to find this?!)

7. Strawberry Shakes and bottomless iced teas.

8. V.C. Andrews

9. Sneakers.. the most comfy things on Earth!

10. MHB2U..

11. CHOCO MALLOW PIES.. heavenly! 

12. BeRkS,bErKs,BeRkS!!! The perfect 10!

13. Petroleum jelly.. lip’licious!

14. White and Orange

15. Journal.. spam through the pages of my life!

16. PUPC, my dad!

17. Pastas..

18. WATER GUNS.. my childhood favorite toy!

19. Nyaeks!

20. Baseball Caps.

21. Friendster.. are you in?

22. MP3.. and launchcasts!

23. Summers..

24. Tanned skin (they’re hot and damn sexy!)

25. Rain drops.. dance with them while they’re falling!

26. Rooftop.. hang-out place outside my room out through my window pane.

27. Showers & bubble baths (kuno).. the best way to unwind & pamper your self!

28. Chitchats.. confessions and good ol’ afternoon teas!

29. Acoustic.. guitars and the frustration to learn how to play it!

30. Torete. “H’wag kang mag-alala, ‘di ko ipipilit sa ‘yo..”

31. SLEEP! ZZzzzz… *yawn*

32. Lifehouse.. “Hanging by a moment”

33. Twins.. one-of-a-kind legacy of existence!

34. COOKING! *yum*

35. MYMP.. “Especially For You…”

36. Integrated Developmental School.. the famous pink-skirted damsels!

37. PAUL WALKER.. oooozzzing with sex appeal! Whew!

38. Conservatism.. and REASONS!

39. Blogs.. my media blitz (kuno)!

40. Hale.. have you heard “Kung Wala Ka?” Hail Hale for that!

41. 7.. I’m the 7^th in a family of 11!

42. Escapades.. adventure!

43. Flats & Slippers.. ‘Asan na ba tsinelas ko? 

44. Text, text, text! (Wrong sent messages.. What a dope I am!!!!) Toinks!

45. Badminton and basketball..

46. MAMANG.. 

47. My buddy (Where are you?! For Pete’s sake, pakita ka!)

48. Bondpapers.. Clean and ink-blotted ones!

49. Mr. Bean, jOhnNy EngLiSh… ahihihihi!

50. Mem’ries of Bali (Pao pao..)

51. William Shakespeare.. the great!

52. Beaches.. not bitches!

53. Pineapples and mangoes..

54. Jogging and morning walks with Dad..

55. Babies.. the cute and cuddly ones!

56. Khaki shorts (patago! Hahaha!)

57. Bijo and Cubes… and the rest of my little hunnies..

58. Write, write, write.. ‘til you finally run out of ink!

59. Victoria’s Secret.. ssshhh!

60. PJ’s and bedtime stories..

61. Smiles ! Belly-laughs..

62. Creamed Coffees.. and staying up really late! mamalbal!!

63. Ateneo Blue Eagles.. DOUG KRAMER!

64. Adam’s apple (ahihihi..)

65. Daydreaming.. the Skies, the Stars, the Moon.. (wish, wish, wish..)

66. Myths, FoLkTaLeS and every bit of Maranao fOLkLOres!

67. White Roses..

68. Boyish stuffs! *devilish laughs* 

69. midnights snacks!

70. Choco Wackos.. and the bites I share w/ Sam after school during Monday’s…

71. Adidas backpacks.. mine, Yesha’s and Vril’s.. hehehe!

72. Oversized tees.. and the stares I got from wearing them to school!

73. Carwash.. and the memorable acquaintances there!

74. Jackets.. and hankies..

75. Double Dutch Ice cream..

76. Wicker Park.. its OST (“The Scientist” by Coldplay) and Josh Hartnett!

77. Pillows.. 5 big pastel-colored throw pillows.. And 2 Cuddly bears!

78. Academic pursuits… plan A, B, and C, timetables & every structure of it!

79. CBA Library.. my library “mates” and few new LIB mates!

80. JPIA conventions… at mga paghari, ginawa-i and layoks!

81. Jokes.. corny man o hindi, mabenta talaga!

82. Jessica Alba… dance, dance, dance!

83. Pashmina veils..

84. Youngblood.. PDI!

85. Telebabad.. mapa-landline man o sa CP, walang inuurungan!

86. Bubuyogs.. (Conceited!)

87. Neon-colored translucent diskettes.

88. Massage.. lapit nang gumraduate! Ahihihi..

89. Tom’s and movie theaters.

90. Nailcutter and nailbitting?!

91. Letters and palancas.

92. Brown-outs !! Aaah!

93. PRIDE and PREJUDICE.. Stupidity..

94. Teenage Angsts! I’M OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD!

95. Warmth. LOVE. Magic..

96. Spine-shiverring COMMITMENTS!

97. 811 days.

98. Sorry’s. Goodbye’s. Letting go. Good thinking (better be!).. 

99. Floral bedsheets..

100. CARPE DIEM! -)i(-

          Technically in Accounting, CONSERVATISM means when in doubt, choose the solution that will be least likely to overstate assets and income. But it doesn’t mean that net assets or net income BE understated. Unfortunately, it has been interpreted by some to mean just that. When properly applied, it provides reasonable guide in difficult instances: refrain from OVERSTATEMENT of net assets and net income.

When applied to the real world, it means expecting the worst. When something bad happens, you prepare your self to be disappointed. You don’t feel so awful because you anticipated it. But when something good happens, it cheers you up because you expected something bad.

But I didn’t mean anything like one must be pessimistic nor one must stop being optimistic. Do I sound like it bah? Hehehe.. What I want to stress is: STOP BEING ASSUMING! It’ll cause you a lot of trouble. Take it from me! @_@ I had my own share, too.

I admit, most of the times, I am like that! That’s why often times, I’m MISUNDERSTOOD! I demand answers from my WHY and HOW questions from which, sad to say, will again be my basis for the series of questions I’ll soon brag about. (I do hope I don’t bore people to death! @_@) I need reasons, you know! I believe everything has reasons and that GOD has his own reasons why things are just not meant to be! Hahay.. That gets to show how one should really be patient to really get to know me! I am aware, though, that sometimes I get so exasperating because of this. For one way or another, it is sensible naman to be like that! You just need to be stiff about it! Ryt?! Hehehe.. -)i(-

"How can I help believing?  Tell me, how can I run from the truth when everyday I’m still finding PIECES OF YOU?"

Gimme the time and the space that I need.. Just let me go! -)i(-

So you thought I can’t do it, huh?

     Have you, by any chance, felt something like you try to work your self out forcing to believe onto something you think exists but is not real?? I mean, you felt it exactly but in the real sense it was never really there? You saw how it actually changed your perspective, your ways and means and the total being inside you and yet you realize you’re being too much of a desperate fool.

     Have you, by any chance, tried to fit your self into a hole forcing your self to get in because you think you deserve it although ambiguous about it? With all your might and that ample amount of faith, you try to suit in even if you know you’re inadequate and is not welcome at all.

     Have you, by any chance, felt totally insecure over things you know is not worthy of the thought? You know you’re normal and might even be better and yet you feel them. You’re left wishing anyone would send you some fairy dust just to chase away the invidious feelings in you.

      Have you, by any chance, felt used? Like, you pour your whole being over something you believe is for you. You stick to it, allowing it to dictate your life and yet you realize all those times, you were alone left to dangle with the wind. You thought somebody’s there ready to face the journey with you but when you turn around, you see no one.

     Have you, by any chance, set aside your pride; broke the stand you are so steadfast and covert about in exchange for something you are afraid of losing? None of these seemed to matter because you become so focused with finding ways to keep it going. You become selfless and didn’t realize that along the way you are slowly losing your self.

      YES?! then, you’re stupid! hehehe.. @_@

.

Spread the JPIAN flame!

Who said Accountancy’s boring?! Nah, there is more out of balancing the debits and credits! Bagging this year’s title, this break from ennui ( the stereotyped life we really want to escape) is really deserving.. Whew! See you all in the National Convention!

I need someone with a brain right now. Oh, funny how people ask for different things.. Things that’ll surprise them. Things that aren’t conventional. But once they get what they want, they hate it. Hypocrites. I repeat, I need someone with a brain. In fact, I think I can even settle for someone with a higher "intellect" than me. Okay, I know I’m being full of my self again. But it would be entertaining, yet quite intimidating that I would be left stuttering and insecure. *sigh* Whatever. These thoughts just came crashing.

I’m wondering how some people could be so … So.. err, I don’t know what’s the appropriate term. But the thought is, plastic?! I mean, when you’re with them they let you feel like everything’s fine but you know it’s not. You can sense it because the gap is there. And you’re left thinking what have you done or what went wrong. You slam the thought away so as not to destroy the friendship you built and kept building for the past years. I know it sounds ridiculous but you just can’t help it. You fear that if you let them know about it, it might end up the wrong way. (You definitely wouldn’t want that to happen, db?) You’re left waiting until they finally tell it to you.. So to your last resort, you step back, hold your tongue and mingle with them instead. The point is, why not tell the person instead, face to face. I guess, it wouldn’t hurt that much. Okay lang sana kung hindi napapansin pero it’s obvious naman. Nakakailang kasi yung ganun.. You see and spend time with each other almost everyday but ironically, you feel you’re being stabbed at the back. But you don’t want to ruin the bond you established so you simply drop the whole idea.. You see the picture? That hurts, ayt?

Change topic. I better be rejoicing coz my dad just signed my waiver for our JPIA convention this Saturday. See yah all JPIANs at Liceo and Malasag!

J

091905. God, I am lame. It’s way past 1pm already. 3 o’clock seems so distant! But I don’t like to go to class either. I’m bored. Got no idea what to do. I’m even too bored to type down properly. These are the times I love spamming around my phone. Ah, I missed my cp. It’s been exactly 22 days since I last get hold of that thing. Still no clue from the acclaimed “Mr. Jaffar Macarambon.” Better ditch him out of my head. Bye bye, Phoney! Anyway, the weather looks fine. Coupled with a good music background, it’ll be perfect for a good snoring session. Hahaha! Damn. I’m so full of myself, AGAIN! Not good. *tsk tsk tsk* But I’m impressed by how sleep raised my pounds. Hahaha! No kidding, I love it. You know, I should have been in a fret for a quiz by 4:30 but like I said, I’m bored. It won’t get stuck in my head if I force my self. Oh well, it will eventually be my downfall. For now, I don’t care. *sigh* I do like to write down my thoughts. Yeah, I talk like this in my head. I don’t mind my grammar, whatsoever. I just deep-think things. I probably even over-analyze things. Random things like fasting. Last night, I thought of waking up by 3 for a fast since it’ll be Nisfu Sha’ban by then. No class. Hmm… Relieving.. I woke up in the wrong side of the bed, though. I have my period which means I can’t do what I just planned. This is what I hate most ‘bout being a girl. Heck. Good thing no class today. But to my dismay, my friend called up. She said no memo was passed by the chancellor. Shit! I can’t go to school now. Who would want to? I have anticipated there wouldn’t be any class today! The thought of missing 2 major subjects today left me with no choice. Hahay, estudyanteng blues..

Sometimes, just when you think you’ve found the right person (at least, that’s how I see him and yet, he never sees himself as one!), he realizes that there are so many things wrong with you. (What is wrong with me, then? Ah, he said when it comes to my love for him, he’s blind! Weird.. ) Eventually, you also realize that there are so many things wrong with him and everything just falls apart. After some time, you realize that it’s over. Just like that, like a snap of the fingers! No amount of screaming, kicking and whining can bring you an instant replay of the things that were and could have been. Give me the space and the time that I need to learn to unlove you…if there’s such a word! I’m insane but dead-serious…

HOW ARE YOU?

I don’t know how I am. Would you take it against me if I answer that question with a cold stare? How am I doing? I don’t know. I absolutely don’t know. I guess I’ve been having sleepless nights, trying to figure out why things didn’t work out. I guess I’m caught between wanting to shut you out of my life completely and wanting to snatch you away. I don’t know. I am lost. Life was so much simpler before you messed up with my heart. Happiness, being okay and loneliness were simple emotions. With you in my life now, everything seems much more exaggerated. It’s like I feel these emotions from my hair to my fingertips, to the point of being “HIGH”…

ARE YOU OK?

I don’t think I’m okay. I am not okay. Being confused never belonged to the realm of being okay. Do you realize what you do to me? My days seem so much happier. The sun seems to shine brighter. The rain brings a smile to my lips. The colors seem more vivid and I now love the things I used to hate. CORNY, they call it! I don’t think I’m okay. My life has always been on a timetable. Everything is planned and every aspect has a structure. Everything has a Plan A and if the Plan A does not work, there’s always a Plan B. When all else fails, there’s always Plan C. When you came, something has placed the entire order in my life upside down. My timetable changed and to the point I don’t follow a schedule anymore. My plans were all put on hold. The whole structure just went crashing. I had a clear view of what I wanted, where I was going and by when do I need to get there. The moment you walked in, none of them seemed to matter anymore. All I wanted was to stay with you. And that isn’t me. You know how I hate commitments! It brings shivers to my spine! But I can’t afford to allow that to be me. Not this time. Not with you. You represent the exact opposite of everything I’ve ever longed for and yet, for some strange reason, I feel happy when I’m with you. Those little but precious times I had with you. Some people have a problem dealing with loneliness. I, however, find myself having a problem dealing with happiness because I can’t justify to my mind why I feel about you. You asked me how many times but still, I have no idea! Maybe it’s just the way it is..MAGIC! But it’s not logical. It defies reason.

ARE YOU ANGRY WITH ME?

No, I’m not angry with you. I am just doing what’s best for the both of us thereby solving the problem before it begins. I know this feeling all too well. I know I’m gonna end up starting my day with thoughts of you and end it just the same. I’d have imaginary conversations with you in my head. And then one day, I’d wake up realizing that you have become an essential part of my day, my life. It was all so rosy for the last 811 days (2 yrs, 2 months and exactly 3 weeks!). Until one day, reality gives me a nudge and makes me realize I don’t really have you. That no matter how much you said you loved my eyes and sharing your dreams and your thoughts with me, I still won’t be enough. That no matter how much you said you cared about me, you can never love me the way I want to be loved. That no matter what I do, there would be no me and you. Perhaps, “you and she” sounds better to you. So let me solve this the only way I know how. This may be hard but I know we’ll get by.

YOU REALLY DON’T WANNA SEE ME ANYMORE?

Well, yes.. at least until I get over you. At least until I am sure that your presence no longer affects my better judgment. (Oh well, I know you’ll never come home anyway.) At least until I’ve accepted the finality of things and never feel myself longing for something you cannot give. Let me concentrate on the negative things about you. Let me bring you down from the pedestal I once placed you in. Allow me to see your worst and then maybe I’d change my mind. Let me remind myself that as much as I love you, we have different priorities. That as much as I adore you, you have a way of pissing me off, a way that only you can do. Let me be reminded of what a ball and chain you are then maybe I’d learn to see you in a different light. Let me gaze at your countenance one more time and remind myself how forgettable your features are. Let me walk with indifference when all I wanted to do was to run to your side and hug you. Let me be self-absorbed, allow me to work myself to death or drag my sorry ass-wacking my brain out with academic pursuits. (“Trying” maybe the right term.) Let me be busy. It’s just that I don’t want to be happy for a moment and be miserable the next time. I don’t want to love you, because I don’t want to go through the pain of letting you go. My mind refuses to let the heart win. So it’s true, that “basic hand psychology” of the right thumb over the left thumb, it works for me! Nah, you don’t remember. You always fail to remember.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S THE WORST PART OF UNLOVING YOU?

It’s the disappointing REALITY; that my messed up heart stubbornly believes that letting you go means loving you more. It’s the dark, unacceptable fact that sadly, whoever gets romantically entangled with me at this precise moment of my life (which I doubt if I could and would allow), that person will only fall second best to the memory of you. So allow me to get the space and the time I need as I live day-to-day, practicing the art of unloving you…and pls…GIVE ME BACK MY HEART! 

This is my berks…

From top (l-r): yesha, besh, kookie, ahem *roll eyes*..

down: vril and tin!

Look at us! hahaha! This was taken last Wednesday  sa pool celebrating our anniversary! (sorry nalang sa wala! joke lang rye, jean, kate and bot! labyah!) Anyway, the resort’s empty! That means, kami lang tao dun! only the 6 of us.. as always, BIBO kaayo! A lot of things revealed like uhmmm…*thinks* dami palang pwedeng maging sexy star sa berks noh? Talking about Red Diaries! este, series! May pang-Calendar Girl pa! *coughs* ‘Nu pa ba? Ah, yeah… Ako nanaman pinagttripan ng berks! Bkit bah? Hahay, Yesha at Kookie talaga!

Kaya sa mga susunod pang escapades ng berks, dapat COMPLETE tau! mwah!